Posted by
atomicturtle on Saturday, June 02, 2007 6:06:19 PM
I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be single forever than settle for some chick that doesn't have the whole package - looks, brains, personality, self-sufficiency, etc. Why SHOULD you settle for less than perfect? All that does is devalue and debase yourself. It's like going to a car dealership with the intent to buy a Ferrari - but they don't have any so instead of waiting for one to arrive, you settle for a Toyota. Screw that. You're sacrificing your wants and desires for the immediacy and convenience of what's in front of you. Anybody who would be willing to do that, don't ever call me. You wouldn't stand an ice cube's chance in hell with me.
Contrary to popular belief, relationships are not about selfless love and commitment and all that touchy-feely gag-me crap. Relationships are about VALUE. An intimate relationship is, in fact, little different than a business relationship. They are an exercise in mutual benefit exchange. You should want to be with a person because of what they have to offer you and for how they will be beneficial to your life. That person should ENHANCE your life, not take away from it by means of you having to sacrifice or compromise for them. You should WANT that person, not need them (to need a person means simply that you are incomplete by yourself, which is absolutely pathetic) - and they should WANT you in return. Relationships should be about selfishness and greed. Or more simply put, they should be about DESIRE.
You want to know what love is? THAT'S what love is: selfish, greedy DESIRE. When you say you love someone, that person should have something you WANT and who WANTS something from you, and the two of you should come together so that you can both profit simply by each others presence. And while I'm on the subject, a person shouldn't just give themselves freely to you. The way I figure it, that smacks of being easy. They should make you have to earn them by your merits - and they should be trying to earn the pleasure of YOUR company by theirs.
I can hear the rusty clanks of some of your guys' brains already. You're thinking, "He's insane. He's absolutely crazy. Love is about being willing to do anything, give up anything for that special someone." "Love isn't about selfishness," you say, "it's about selfLESSness."
Do you know what people are REALLY saying when they say that? They’re saying that love is altruistic in nature - and they couldn't be more wrong. Those who claim that selfless sacrifice is the ultimate act of love show only that they don't know what love is.
To love selflessly has to mean, by definition, that you derive NO personal pleasure or happiness from the company and the existence of the person you love. Pleasure and happiness are selfish things. The selfless lover is allowed neither. A selfless relationship based on settling or sacrifice or compromise, therefore, is a relationship based on and motivated only by pity for that person's need of you. And pitying them is the most insulting thing you can ever do to a person. A relationship based on pity basically says to a person, "Look, you're not perfect. You're not really what I want. You have X and Y and Z about you that I don't like - but I'm going to go ahead and be with you anyway. Aren't I a nice guy?" Good god, what a slap in the face. I shudder at the thought of people that would willingly debase themselves like that. I don't EVER want a chick I'm with to give up ANYTHING for me. I don't EVER want her to compromise who she is or sacrifice what she wants. I don't EVER want selfless love. And I expect nothing short of the same from her.
Love is not self-sacrifice. Love is the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you desire the person you love - and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest love you can pay that person.
"Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual PAYMENT given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another's character. Only a brute or an altruist would claim that the appreciation of another person's virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one's own selfish interest and pleasures are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries a woman or a sl*t." -Ayn Rand
Oh, and another thing - the people you love in life are a reflection of your own values. If you love the inept, the inferior, the stupid, the lazy and would sacrifice your life for their needs, then it shows exactly what YOU hold as a value: ineptitude, inferiority, stupidity, and laziness.
Think about that when you're thinking about compromising and sacrificing and settling for less when it comes to relationships.